BDSM lifestyle

BDSM Verbal and Non-Verbal Safe Words

In the world of BDSM play, things can get a bit tricky when it comes to communicating whether you like it or are comfortable with the scene, or if you want your dominant to ease up or stop entirely.

BDSM safe words should be short, simple and to the point, but in some scenes it may be important to for some non-verbal safe words. We’ll cover some of the basics of creating safe words and actions in the BDSM lifestyle.

Tips for Choosing a Safe Word

Those in the lifestyle who love getting extra kinky will want to have a safe word that is memorable for both partners. Make sure to have a conversation on what the safe word would be before the start of any scene. Try to use a word or phrase that is meaningful and easy to speak and that can be easily understood over groans, smacks, zaps or whatever sounds occur during play time.

Many choose words that don’t naturally come up in kink or sex scenarios, and food items are popular. Pineapples, bananas, apples and such are good choices. Some couples choose celebrity’s names as safe words, as they are unlikely to come up during sex for any other reason.

Choosing Non-Verbal Safe Words

Non-verbal safe words are essentially safe signals that serve as alternatives to safe words that most be voiced. They serve the same purpose, but they are a communication tool that is put in place for those into certain kinks like face sitting and or being gagged. Non-verbal cues are also useful for those who might have a hard time expressing their wants and needs during kink.

Common safe-signals include double-tapping their partners leg or head or shaking their head, and some may drop a held object like a small ball. If there are plans to include restrictive bondage, it’s a good idea to choose a non-verbal safe word that doesn’t involve those body parts.

In BDSM Play, Safe Word is a Must

Unless you and your partner are no-holds barred kinksters, having some type of safe word or safety signal in place is the best way to prevent issues and injury for all involved. While you may never feel the need to use it, having one in place can ease fears when playing a bit rough in the bedroom.

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Swingers

swinger meet up

Ice Breakers for First Time Swinger Meet Ups

Entering into the swingers lifestyle is sure to provide some good times, but those first time swinger meet & greet opportunities can be challenging. Unless you’re an outgoing individual who is accustomed to meeting new people and enjoying social gatherings, you might want to be prepared with a few of these tips and tricks on how to break the ice at an upcoming event.

Do Some Initial Research

One of the best ways to alleviate anxiety about swinger meet ups is to do a bit of research about the event you are planning to attend. Doing so can help you be prepared for the festivities, which is important if the swingers meet & greet is themed. If any questions aren’t clarified in the invite or on the organizer’s website, don’t hesitate to call and make some inquiries to get yourself in the right headspace for a successful experience.

Avoid Excessive Drinking

While imbibing a drink to get relaxed before heading off to a swinging meet-up is reasonable, don’t use excessive alcohol or intoxicants to relieve stress. There’s a big difference in having a bit of liquid courage and showing up as a sloppy drunk to meet a bunch of people you don’t know. These types of events are best navigated when sober, so you are present both physically and mentally during the experience.

Avoid Being a Fly on the Wall

While it’s perfectly fine to sit on the sidelines for a bit to evaluate the scene after arriving, not much action is likely to happen if you   don’t engage with others at the event. Being a fly on the wall or glued to a chair all night can actually make you look unapproachable to other swinging attendees.

Remember, if you are nervous, you are likely not alone. There are others there who are possibly first timers too, so socializing with them can offer an immediate connection. After all, everyone who is at the meet and greet is there for the same reason—to have fun with like-minded people.

Don’t Be Afraid to Separate

If you’re bringing a partner to the event, it’s perfectly acceptable to go the divide and conquer route. Just be sure to have set rules in place between yourselves to avoid any miscommunications or experiencing a deal-breaker incident.

Read the room to find someone you might want to play with, and be mindful in approaching them respectfully. With both partners actively working the room, it will take far less time to get into the action. However, this might not work for all couples, and some other swingers might feel more comfortable engaging with other couples in unison from the get-go.

Ready to Get Swinging?

Make the most out of your first event with these tips to make connections in one night that can be life changing. With that in mind, baby steps are okay. Not all swinging friendships start with sex right away, but getting a good start at a meet-up can lead to future get-togethers where nothing is taboo.

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