According to the majority of the populous, monogamy is not just natural to humans—it’s practically an expectation, a phenomenon known as ‘social monogamy.’ Which brings about the question, if being with just one person sexually is ‘natural,’ why do so many struggle to stay monogamous or opt for swinging relationships?
And those who do stay tried and true to their one and only—are they falling victim to social monogamy to fit into the expected norms of their families, culture or religious beliefs? Let’s delve into social order and human nature to learn more about the lifestyle choices they make–and why.
The Case for and Against Social Monogamy
Let’s face it—women and men view sex very differently and likely have since primitive mankind. Early human’s primary goal was survival, and men are genetically predisposed to procreate as much as possible to maintain the species. In this essence, monogamy might not have been considered as natural to men back then, and statistics do support the supposition that men step outside of monogamous relationships more often than women.
Even since the earliest times, women have had the evolutionary goal of reproduction. Women are inherently more selective in choosing mates to ensure the very best matches for her young. Today, women more often fall into social monogamy after having children—another genetic quality.
As you can see, these variances amid genders creates a social order filled with sexual conflict. What is natural to a male isn’t necessarily how a woman will see things amid the realm of monogamy. Evolutionary traits may lend one to follow what’s best for the gene pool, but this could result in serious consequences for the body. So, which is best? Following monogamous expectations or doing what feels natural for you?
Making Tough Choices About Monogamy
While monogamy is not for everyone. Only you and your partner know what is ‘right’ for you as individuals and as a couple, so if monogamy feels natural, great. Stick with it. If you aren’t feeling fully satisfied with being monogamous, find a partner willing to embrace the lifestyle with you. Swinging and polyamorous couples can be just as committed to their primary partner as anyone else, so don’t hesitate to explore the lifestyle if monogamy isn’t cutting it.
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