Tag Archives: BDSM lifestyle

BDSM lifestyle

BDSM Verbal and Non-Verbal Safe Words

Swingers Resources, , , ,

In the world of BDSM play, things can get a bit tricky when it comes to communicating whether you like it or are comfortable with the scene, or if you want your dominant to ease up or stop entirely.

BDSM safe words should be short, simple and to the point, but in some scenes it may be important to for some non-verbal safe words. We’ll cover some of the basics of creating safe words and actions in the BDSM lifestyle.

Tips for Choosing a Safe Word

Those in the lifestyle who love getting extra kinky will want to have a safe word that is memorable for both partners. Make sure to have a conversation on what the safe word would be before the start of any scene. Try to use a word or phrase that is meaningful and easy to speak and that can be easily understood over groans, smacks, zaps or whatever sounds occur during play time.

Many choose words that don’t naturally come up in kink or sex scenarios, and food items are popular. Pineapples, bananas, apples and such are good choices. Some couples choose celebrity’s names as safe words, as they are unlikely to come up during sex for any other reason.

Choosing Non-Verbal Safe Words

Non-verbal safe words are essentially safe signals that serve as alternatives to safe words that most be voiced. They serve the same purpose, but they are a communication tool that is put in place for those into certain kinks like face sitting and or being gagged. Non-verbal cues are also useful for those who might have a hard time expressing their wants and needs during kink.

Common safe-signals include double-tapping their partners leg or head or shaking their head, and some may drop a held object like a small ball. If there are plans to include restrictive bondage, it’s a good idea to choose a non-verbal safe word that doesn’t involve those body parts.

In BDSM Play, Safe Word is a Must

Unless you and your partner are no-holds barred kinksters, having some type of safe word or safety signal in place is the best way to prevent issues and injury for all involved. While you may never feel the need to use it, having one in place can ease fears when playing a bit rough in the bedroom.

The Joys of BDSM

To most people, the idea of BDSM seems like a twisted way to love. Some have a perception that it is an activity meant for people who like to …

SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL – THE GOLDEN RULE OF THE BDSM LIFESTYLE

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a bit of kink in your sexual relationships and this is particularly the case in the BDSM lifestyle. While it’s not for everyone, even those involved in bondage, submission and dominance play have rules to…

HOW TO BECOME A DOMINANT IN THE BDSM LIFESTYLE

Dominant in the BDSM Lifestyle“50 Shades of Grey” has made the BDSM lifestyle more mainstream. As such, more people are exploring their sexuality and coming clean about their kinks and fetishes. If you have always wanted to be a dominant in the BDSM lifestyle, you may wonder what steps you need to take to make this happen. Here are a few of the steps you need to follow to become a dominant in this lifestyle. Determine What Kinks and Fetishes You Want to Explore Before you can become a dominant in the BDSM lifestyle, READ MORE

Swingers

BDSM-sub

Erotic Spanking Tips – How to Please Your BDSM Sub

Swingers Resources, , , , ,

There is no lack of ways to have a bit of naughty fun in the bedroom, and impact play is one of the top spontaneous ‘go to’s’ for bold and experimenting couples. While those experienced in the BDSM lifestyle may be accustomed to the concept of erotic spanking, the art of pleasing a partner while engaging in the act can be illusive. We’re here to assist with a few tips to ensure success and maximum satisfaction for all involved.

Head for the Rear…But Don’t Forget the Rest of the Body

Impact play is the term used by swingers and vanilla couples when discussing any form of impact on one’s body for sexual gratification purposes. Naturally, the rear end is a great starting point to explore any desire to find pleasure in the pain.

However, just about any part of the body can be the target zone for various forms of spanking, as the stimulation increases blood flow and can drive a routine sex session to an entirely higher plane of satisfaction. Maximize on this concept with attention to not only the butt but keep the nipples, groin and other sweet spots on the menu.

Hands, Paddles & Whips…Oh My!

There’s no need for expensive toys or massive forethought to get into impact play, but they can be a turn on that your sub just loves. Every instrument delivers a different sensation, but newbies will likely begin their erotic spanking journey with a hand. Those new to the experience, can also start small and use what they have handy around the home.

If both partners find it pleasurable, things can get a bit hotter and more intense with some toys common in the BDSM lifestyle like whips, floggers, and perhaps even pair the experience with some soft bondage implements.

Mix It Up: Alternate Between Spanks, Rubs & Squeezes

While spanking can be a divine experience in and of itself, it can be taken to a whole new level of sensations when the paddle zones are also caressed with rubs and squeezes. Mixing it up can establish a memorable and highly erotic spanking session. Change the shape of the hand, the speed and frequency and strength of these actions to keep things somewhat unpredictable for your sub and certainly more exciting.

Really Want to Know How Your Sub Gets Their Pleasure?

As with just about any situation involving a main partner or one in a swingers situation, the best way to find out what gets them off and heightens their pleasure is to ask! Communication is always the key, but do remember–subs love to be punished, so it’s okay to go off-script on occasion to discover other aspects of erotic spanking that are enjoyable but not yet realized.

A GUIDE TO BEING A SUBMISSIVE IN THE BDSM LIFESTYLE

submissives

Swingers who are comfortable with participating in the lifestyle sometimes find themselves digging a bit deeper into the kink to explore the BDSM lifestyle. While this type of sex play has been popularized by the 50 Shades of Grey series, there’s a lot more to dom/sub play done off the big screen. Typically, there’s no contract involved and submissives don’t give over full control per se. Let’s explore why subs love what they do and their daddy doms that provide them with both pain and pleasure. A Greater Feeling of READ MORE

You Want Me to Do What? A Guide to BDSM Swingers Boundaries

A bit of role play is well within the confines of the average swingers boundaries, but even those in the BDSM lifestyle typically have some limits. That’s the whole purpose …

SEXUAL DISCIPLINE IN THE SWINGERS & BDSM LIFESTYLE EXPLAINED

Whether you’re into swinging, BDSM, love being punished or are a mighty dom who appreciates keeping a submissive, the concept of discipline is nothing new to you. However, those just getting into the lifestyle of submissive/dominant relationships, will appreciate this…

erotic spanking

How to Be a Dominatrix

How to Be a Dominatrix

Swingers Resources, , , , , , ,

Swingers DatingAs you may already know, “Dominatrix” is a term used to describe a woman that is dominant, be it in a sexual or romantic relationship. Also referred to as a “mistress”, the dominatrix takes the leadership role during sexual intercourse as she dominates the man, who is commonly known as a “slave”. In this case, the man would be considered the submissive in the relationship and abiding by all the rules set by the dominatrix. The two mutually agree on the aspects that are to be controlled, and on the boundaries that ought to be respected.

People often engage in a dominant-submissive relationships because they have a strong urge to be dominated, humiliated (be it sexually, verbally or physically) or because they want to feel powerful. If you are thinking about becoming a dominatrix, here are the steps you need to take:

  1. Set Boundaries 

How to Be a DominatrixThe first and most important thing about being a dominatrix is to understand that there is a limit. Even when your submissive tells you to stop, part of the fun is not stopping and continuing with what you have to do. Some men get off when they feel pain or humiliation, but if you push it too far and you take your dominant side a mile further, this can break the trust and bond you have established with your submissive. Have a safe word that both parties agreed upon, before you start a dominating session. When you, as a dominatrix, hear the safe word – you need to stop what you are doing immediately!

  1. Don’t Be Afraid To Experiment 

Curiosity is perfectly normal, and people will want to experiment sooner or later in life. When engaging in a dominant-submissive relationship, there are many things you can experiment with, as the field of BDSM is quite complex. There are a few things you can try like mouth gags, restraints (handcuffs, ropes), blind folds that will prevent the slave from seeing what’s next, and you may even be interested in checking out some BDSM toys as well. Part of being a good dominatrix is giving pleasure. Both parties involved in a dominant-submissive relationship is supposed to experience pleasure, not just one party.

  1. Dress As A Dominatrix! 

In order to be a dominatrix, you must dress and act like one. However, it is extremely important to know where your role stops – contrary to popular belief, only a very small percentage of those who engage in a slave-master relationship actually play the role on a non-stop basis. While being a dominatrix is still considered as taboo in many countries, in some countries (especially in assigned districts) it is not uncommon to see dominant women walking their slaves down the street.

That being said, it is important to understand the “dress code” that applies to dominant women. You can choose to be on the classy side or you can choose to be on the rough, hardcore side with chains, whips and piercings. Your clothes should be dictated by the extent of your role, by your personality and allure and by your preferences. Generally speaking, dominant women like to wear leather or latex closed coupled with high heel How to Be a Dominatrixstilettos or boots and revealing undergarments.

  1. Role Play

Inside The World Of A Dominatrix shows how some women choose to become dominatrix. Some for fun and the sexual arousal, while others do it for money. Regardless of the reasons, it is very important to stay discrete with all the men (or women) that you meet for dominating sessions. People who engage in BDSM activities usually live perfectly normal and healthy lives, although some of the slaves may be carried away by the entire game and insist on getting more. This is why it is advised to set the boundaries and to avoid revealing personal information. Being a dominatrix is a role play done for pleasure, and that is how it should stay. Everybody has a private life and a public life, and one’s right to a private life should always be respected.

  1. Stay Open-Minded 

One of the most important characteristics of being a dominatrix is your mentality. Try to be as open-minded as possible. Never judge those you have interactions with (especially as a dominatrix), and never underestimate your slave as submissive parts can come from various backgrounds and they can have different academic training.

Want to know how to dominate a dominating woman? Try here: Top tips on dominating a dominant woman

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Swingers News, , , , , , , ,

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) started back in 1997 by a small group led by Susan Wright.  Over the years, more organizations and groups that serve the BDSM, swing and polyamory lifestyles join the NCSF to help fight for the right for sexual freedom.   They have since grown and formed alliances with other organizations that support sexual freedoms such as the Free Speech Coalition, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Activist Alliance and others that defend sexual freedom.  They NCSF believe that all adults who engage in safe, sane, and consensual behavior have the right to not be discriminated against.

Because of your sexual expression…

  • You may face discrimination, prosecution, and/or violence against you
  • You may lose custody of your children
  • You may lose your job or your income
  • You may experience invasion of your privacy by the government

NSCF have implemented these programs to assist people in the BDSM, swing and polyamory lifestyle.

  • NCSF’s Incident Reporting and Response – provide assistance for people experiencing discrimination, prosecution and/or violence
  • Kink Aware Professional – provide referrals to medical professionals that are knowledgeable and sensitive about the lifestyle.
  • Media Outreach – helps to educate and manage the online reputation of the issues surrounding lifestyle.
  • Consent Counts – is a national campaign focus on changing the laws and police practices that people in the lifestyle have to endure.
  • DSM-V-Revision – a project that attempts to correct the assumptions that the BDSM lifestyle is a disease, as APA guidelines state that BDSM is a characteristic of mental illness.
  • Education Outreach – is a program designed to help educate people inside and outside the lifestyle.     

Learn more about NCSF